Best and Worst of 2011

Dear World- It’s me, Tilly

 Yes I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been here- in this space that is mine where the words flow and my fingers tingle on the key board, the light and familiar sounds of tap-tap-tap. Here I am home, here is where I belong, and a deep sigh comes over my soul and I am content, am happy.

 I have no answer as to why I have denied myself this pleasure for so long- no excuse, silliness of what is coined as ‘life’- but is that not the way for all of us? Things like responsibility get tangled in the wheels and before you know it the once easy going- happy existence becomes slow- and you are always removing the ‘gummed-up’ crap from your life instead of enjoying its simple pleasures.

 But the truth is, that’s just me- as inconsistency is my nature- one minute I am here- another over there- I fly high- and then BOOM I land solid and wonder what the hell just happened!  How did I get blind-sided like that?

 Many are thinking about their New Year Resolutions- wondering about what to change, what promises to make- they say things like “This year- is the year- this year I AM going to….” I’m not a big believer in the tradition of resolutions personally- I reflex more on my birthday then I do on the New Year- after all my birthday is personal, it is a day that belongs just to me…okay so me and five million others all over the world ~giggles~ but you know what I mean- it is my time, my New Year- one day older- hopefully wiser.

 But I do reflex back on the best and worst moments of the calendar year.  So what were the best and worst moments for me this year? Betrayal. Betrayal and lies from someone I was in love with, and trusted. That hurts when someone you love hurts you with untruth. Happened twice this year, both from men, once from someone I was deeply and madly in love with, and once from someone who pretended to be my friend. I can be so naive; my heart is fragile, even if I try so hard to pretend otherwise.

 The best? Each and every time I take a photo- the magick and awe of the picture- so many times I look and think- really? I just did that? I captured that image forever? I have many blessings to be thankful for- everything from graduating law to the opportunities the world presents- a photo book maybe? Radio Host again? Will I produce yet another best-selling book? Will I teach SMM? Will I teach others how to succeed as I did? I am blessed to have such a wonderful family, to have such a wonderful life, career (s) and so much more.

 So who am I? Am I the smart and sexy law professional? Am I the photographer? The Author? The poet? Am I the radio host? Am I the owner and founder of Main Street Magazine? Am I a Mom, a sister, an aunt, a grandma, a cousin, a lover, a friend, a Naturalist aka Pagan? Am I….

 ….I am all and more. I will always be more, but most importantly, I’m just me. My name is Tilly Rivers.