Month: January 2015

you’ve learned another secret about me

Dear World– It’s me Tilly

I have found myself rather sentimental a lot  this year; and if possible, I’ve been thinking even more. And when I  say “if possible”—– trust me- I am a thinker. I think, analyze and think again.

So why has this come upon me with a vengeance? Is this because I am creeping ever closer to my 50th year of life? Is it just because of where I am in life’s cycle? Or is it… just…because?

We call people “sentimental” when they express unusually strong emotional attachments to events, objects, places, eras and beliefs. There are articles out there that say being too sentimental is harmful, but then there are articles on how to roast a variety of different bugs and ants for dinner- and thank you but no, while I like to consider myself an adventurous eater, I will pass on the deep-fried, and/or chocolate covered ants and bug recipes.

My point– we- as in you and I– have to use our common sense and our hearts as guides as to what is and what isn’t right for us.

It’s okay to be sentimental. A healthy appreciation for something must come with an individual’s personal acknowledgement that what we’re sentimental over is only a object with good memories. That the past has passed, and holding onto our keepsake can’t serve as a means to bring it back.

We don’t need to fear of letting go, giving away something won’t make the memory dim- the people, the place, the event, the era, the believe… they are are part of us. When you love something deeply, not having a keepsake doesn’t make it any more real, but if you want to keep it- keep it– because so what if we keep that creaky, archaic rocking chair our parents had? Even if it completely goes against the rest of the decor in your house? It means something special to you.

I have learned you can’t hold onto everything, but the items that you “love” should be kept, respected and displayed.

So yes…you’ve learned another secret about me…I am sentimental… and not nearly as ‘cold and tough’ as you think I am.

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What is life’s greatest asset?

If you were to ask ten people what the greatest asset in life is, you will most likely get ten different answers, but most would agree that time is life’s most valuable asset, but is it really?

Others have listed family as their greatest asset, some vulnerability, and still others say wisdom, health and yes… wealth.

Don’t all of these items describe a common theme? You.

Doesn’t it make sense then that your most valuable asset is you? Your time, your family, your knowledge, your health, your…well you get the picture.

My question is how are your treating your greatest asset? Do you wake up every morning and look in the mirror and say “Good morning beautiful!” probably not, if you are like me you get up in the morning and get ready for the day, your mind is circling with the one-hundred-and-one things that you need to do that day; pressing items at home and at work.  The mirror serves as a tool- brush your teeth, wash your face, check your make-up, hair and a final ‘look’ to make sure you didn’t button up your blouse crocked.

1608bffWhen was the last time you kissed the mirror? When was the last time you looked in the mirror and saw your reflection and realized you are your greatest asset?

That all the other ‘things’ in life tie into one of the most valuable gifts of all, that gift my friend is you.

Tomorrow morning, I am going to take a moment and look into the mirror and thank my greatest asset and remember that is order for me to be my best, I need to value myself. I hope you do as well.

 

“Put your time, effort and encouragement into your greatest asset-you.” ~Tom Hopkins~

 

 

 

Reflection

Dear World- It’s me- Tilly

reflection- tilly riversThose that know me well; or have read parts of my book “My name is Matilda-The Tilly Rivers Story” are aware that my personal time for reflection is on my birthday. I don’t really do- “New Year Resolutions”

This year however I find myself doing some personal reflection as I welcome 2015, and I have to ask myself why. Why is this year different?

Perhaps it is because I find myself in a place I haven’t been in awhile- that nagging feeling that something is missing. But missing what? The answer was pretty startling; I am missing me.

Feeling a little lost within myself;  I don’t see my reflection- like a ghost there is no image staring back at me in the mirror.

Maybe because  I have forgotten to embrace my past; the past was not always pretty, life was not always kind.

What I have forgotten is that the past isn’t to be feared, it has shaped me to be the person I am. The past is a learning lesson, it can not harm me, I know longer have to go through those painful moments; but they happened and I can’t deny them either; what I can do is grow, grow knowing I survived them, grow knowing that they have created an inner strength, grow because I am not in that place any more.

Embracing the whole of who you are can be overwhelming. The good, the bad…and yes as the song goes, even the ugly. I have often said that the past is dead and you shouldn’t bring it forward; but maybe I was only partially correct.  To deny the past is denying part of who you are. So maybe the correct approach is viewing it differently; is truly taking those experiences and turning them from painful to positive.  It is not by chance that lessons learned is a major pillar of transformation.

In order for me to transform and become all I can be, I need to really listen to the voice of the past and learn; not judge.

Maybe politician Patrick Henry (1799) had it right when he said “I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.”

After all how do you know how to do it right, if you haven’t done it wrong? And how can you learn from the mistakes if you don’t take the time to really look into the mirror of your past and let it guide you towards a better future?

“By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved – and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses – you actually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.”
~Jack Canfield~