Month: December 2014

I’m dreaming tonight of a place I love

Dear World- It’s me Tilly

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As a child Christmas was filled with the scents and sounds of Christmas. The greatest of those sounds was laughter.

I have three brothers and two sisters, and because of the age gap between the oldest and me, I was an Aunt by the time I was seven. Christmas was a time for family. My Mom made that happen, she loved Christmas, and made each one special.

We made such a ruckus, the sounds of a large family sharing a meal, singing Christmas carols; teasing and laughing. I still have the records of the old-time carols that use to be playing in the background on our record player; I had my ‘own’ Christmas ornament that I hung on the tree. Mom’s Christmas trees were always so beautiful, she truly had a talent for decorating it. One by one we would hang our socks Christmas Eve, and being the youngest I went last, by the time it was my turn I was bouncing with a blend of excitement and impatience.

I remember few gifts; which just goes to prove that it is not the ‘stuff’ we give our children but the experience that truly matters.  I do remember a very special gift and no it wasn’t the latest ‘must-have’ gift in a store. It was made especially for me. When I was about four of five my Mom and Dad made me a doll house; Dad built the house and miniature furniture  and Mom decorated it complete with wallpaper and curtains, it was so beautiful. It had an upstairs with two bedrooms and a kitchen, family room, even a bathroom. Each room was  decorated a different colour, I had mini-towels in the bathroom and blankets on the bed. It was the best; and I can only imagine how long it took them to make it in ‘secret’, not an easy task with little kids being nosey and under foot all the time.

Both of my parents are gone now, and Christmas just isn’t the same without them. While I hold those memories dear to my heart, tears fill my eyes, because they can never be more than memories and dreams. I miss them so very much and I know the missing will never go away.

Mom and Dad, know that…I’m dreaming tonight of a place I love, even more than I usually do…”Christmas eve will find me –Where the love light gleams–I’ll be home for Christmas–If only in my dreams”

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Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself – and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.

Jim Morrison

James Douglas “Jim” Morrison was an American singer and songwriter best remembered as the lead vocalist of the Doors.

tHINKING…tHINKING

Dear World-It’s me Tilly

I am a very introspective person.  Introspection sounds like a simple, good thing: “Know thyself” is the advice inscribed on the Temple of Delphi in Ancient Greece over 2,400 years ago.

Socrates famously said “The unexamined life is not worth living,” for me being introspective means that you ponder your thoughts and feelings in great detail. But truly, is this good or bad? Always thinking, always  examining yourself and your motives? Sometimes I wonder if just ‘living’ is answer enough.

Is it all an illusion? Introspection involves looking inward into conscious thoughts, feelings,motives, and intentions. Keyword- intentions- I mean come on, we all have intentions for the better right? Normally we don’t intend to hurt someone or yourself. Isn’t the road to hell paved with good intentions? The truth of the matter is your intentions don’t really matter. The outcome does. You can have the greatest of intentions with the worst of results.

thinkingSometimes I want to stop thinking, and just live. To stop my brain for a few minutes and let life unfold.  It’s no secret that the future can’t be known. No matter how much time we spend trying to predict, shape or direct it; there will always be embarrassing moments, difficult times, unexpected challenges and unseen failures.

Thinking…thinking…maybe just maybe, I need to  STOP THINKING and let it be.

 

Attack of the killer spider!

Dear World- It’s me Tilly.

The comforting snores from my guy laying beside me in bed and the muted tones of the television as I watched a movie were the only noises in the bedroom. I couldn’t sleep, but that is nothing new for me, as I often suffer from bouts of insomnia; and then….. it happened…..

Something caught my eye directly above me and I immediately reacted…suspended from the ceiling and only a few feet above me, coming ever soooooo closer…. was a spider.  A FRIGGING SPIDER!! 

I am not sure what happened first, the scream or the fact that I was suddenly crawling on top of my guy- –who yelled— ‘what are you doing— get off of me’- —-

Side Note: I’m not sure if I should be offended-or-what- I mean come on, when your girl crawls on top of you in the middle of the night, I wasn’t expecting the reaction of “get off me”- to be fair I wasn’t exactly trying to be seductive, more like— panic— if he didn’t move, I swear I would have pushed him on the floor…. he he he

In a shaky voice I managed to tell him that there was a spider— the biggest spider I’ve ever seen –repelling from the ceiling to attack me. With a curse and a grumble he flicked on the light….’where?’

WHERE…was he kidding me? How could he not see the demon in attack mode?  “right there” I pointed.

He moved closer to my side of the bed…”I don’t see it-where?”

SERIOUSLY… this was no time for kidding around, and I was NOT getting closer to that bed until that damn spider was DEAD! “right…there…” I said, teeth clenched…”why can I see IT in the dark, and you can’t even see it with the light on?” by this time I was close to hysterics.

Finally, my guy sees it. “There, he says it’s gone.”

“Did you kill it?”

“Yes I killed it.”

“I didn’t see you kill it.”

“I KILLED it, it’s dead.”

“Show me it’s body!”

“What?”

“I want to see the corpse—- I AM NOT getting back into that bed until I know it’s dead and won’t come back in the middle of the night and attack me!”

My guy looks at me, and makes a noise somewhere between a groan and  a laugh “You’re not serious?”  With one look he knew I was very-very serious!

“It’s dead honey, come on, let’s go back to bed.”

With a little coaxing I went back to bed. My guy wraps his arms around me and after a few seconds I feel his chest rumbling with laughter; “attack of the killer spider hmm? It was so small I could barely see it.”

“It was a taranchula sent from hell to eat me.”

We both laughed, and I fell asleep in my guys arms. My hero….. the slayer of spiders!