Month: March 2012

Don’t Pretend

Tilly Rivers: Don't Pretend

Don’t pretend to love me: because you don’t

Don’t pretend to care: when I know it’s all a lie

Don’t pretend to be something you’re not

Just don’t

I’m not interested in the why

I don’t care about the how or when or where

You’re just full of lies

So why…why do you pretend otherwise?

If I had a wand, that would create the perfect guy

All I would want…

…it matters not.

..not any more

Why did you do what you did?

Was my heart that unworthy of your care?

STOP….it matters not what he says;

I don’t need to know; you no longer hold the power for me to care!

 

Nothing

Dear World; It’s me- Tilly

Nothingness

Tilly Rivers, sometimes you need to do nothing at all

I know it’s been awhile world, since I’ve written, not sure why exactly for I am never one that is short on words, and certainly not on thoughts, my mind is always going, and to be honest that can be a royal pain-in-the-ass, especially at night when I’m trying to sleep- pllleeeaaasssee brain I beg, just give me ten minutes!

That was the main reason so long ago that I took up meditation, to still the mind, lately though not even that is helping, I am zinging all over the place. Perhaps that is why I haven’t written, I can’t seem to slow things down enough to make any sense.

But today- today I’m not doing anything, I am here on the couch relaxing, listening to some music with a nice glass of wine and resting. Not reading, not planning, working, not thinking…not anything, what a wonderful thing this ‘nothingness’ is. So great in fact I thought I would write about it…and then- yep- you know it, now I’m doing something again. ~smiles~

Trust me when I say I have a huge to-do list, I am ALWAYS doing something, or planning to do something, or learning about something….I have lots I want to do, some I should do, and…yeah the list goes one and on. But not today.

I think all too often we want greatness all the time and we forget that it is the nothingness that fuels our spirit. Aren’t there quotes, songs and poems that speak about the moments of silence and stillness? Aren’t the best moments the ones of nothingness? When someone leaves our lives, be a break up or in death, isn’t it the moments of comfortable silence, the nothingness that we miss the most? Isn’t that a true sign of love? That you can be in each other’s company and do nothing and still not only be content, but be happy?

The huge moments, be it fame or loss, don’t happen as often as the every-day-living nothingness, and isn’t that a good thing? I mean it’s a great high when amazing things happen- it’s a horrible low when you are in a place of loss; how could you cope if this happened day after day? It would be fucking exhausting- being ‘on’ all the time, gets very boring very fast. Being ‘real’ is way more fun and beautiful.