Month: November 2014

So hard to shop for

Dear World It’s me- Tilly

Those that know me, know that I love Christmas, Winter Solstice, Yule…the celebration of love. For truly that is what the season is no matter what you wish to call it.

The celebration of giving; expressing your love for another. This task  shouldn’t be difficult; and yet so often I hear “you are so hard to shop for.”

Really….?

Those in whom are in my tight inner circle should know me, they should know I love my family, nature, and photography, that I collect santa and snowman decor; that I love art and colour. That  flowers in my garden bring me great joy,I delight in hats; music, art, wine and dance. That I smile when I am creating anything, from pottery to photography- to writing; that to truly be me, I MUST be creating and expressing myself all the time. I play in paint; some are kind enough to call it art; I lay on the grass and watch the clouds and see ‘visions’ of cloud-art- moments of being one with the world; I will touch a rock and feel it’s heart beat within; and surround myself with nature; the touch of the sun on my face, the feel of the wind on my skin; to dance naked in the rain; picnics and waterfalls are pure bliss for me. I love the silly things my dogs do; to taste new things; smell new smells; hear laughter and sit in silence.

I love to GIVE…my greatest gift is in the giving. To watch their joy; see the smile of my beloved ones.

loveI love popcorn and peanut butter; snuggling while watching a movie, or horseback riding; I love…I just love..and I would love what you bought me no matter what it was.

So you see I am not so hard to shop for after all; if your gift is wrapped in love, that is all that matters.

Let’s Talk About Lies

Dear World, It’s me-Tilly

…liar, liar pants on fire….

The worst lies aren’t the ones told to us by others; yes they hurt, hurt like hell sometimes, but the ‘killer’ lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

Nothing new here, there are quotes; poems; stories and so many write-ups about this very subject, and yet…..

…and yet we lie to ourselves; and even lie about NOT lying to ourselves.

Why? Why are we so hell-bent on disguising wrong choices or  wrong relationships? Wrong careers? Wrong…anything?

What is it about our internal make-up that is scared to face the truth? So scared that we put up with so much bullshit. Is is public embarrassment? Maybe, there is nothing worse than feeling like a fool, especially regarding love.

The truth is the lies we believe can be more powerful and hindering than the truths we ignore. We can’t forever pretend, be the ostrich with our head in the sand, waiting and praying for things to change. The change is YOU.

The very nature of  a lie is to hide in the shadows; be sneaky and quietly run around the edges of the surface, but one day the lies can no longer be hidden and we sit on a heap of ashes that is our false self; for the truth is all-powerful and cannot be ignored forever; for in truth there is freedom, and in lies there is only suffocating of the soul.

Liar

Talking about aging

Dear World It’s me- Tilly

If getting older is a blessing and a privilege, why do we fight it? Why do we as a society spend millions of dollars to hide it?

When I was in my teens, I thought that people in their fifties were old. At this juncture in my life, a fifty-year-old seems relatively youthful. So aging is ambiguous. Bernard Nash describes aging as a paradox: “Does it not strike you that we all want to live longer but none of us want to grow old?”

We live in a society that has shown little understanding of growing old, and value it even less. Society has a negative and morbid view of aging. And the advertising industry contributes to this mood; after all when was the last time you saw a 50-something or older woman in an advertisement for perfume, jeans or even jewelry? They think once you hit your 40’s you aren’t viewed as sexy anymore.Only five percent of marketing dollars are spent on individuals over age 50. I find this absolutely ridiculous.

We mirror a society that has discouraged our youth to think of growing old as a beautiful process, instead it is to be looked at as a problem to be avoided at all costs. Hence, scientists  now search for a solution to the “problem of old age.”  Everywhere you turn you do not see that aging is a gift or a blessing; quite the opposite.

But why?

Do people believe being old is being sick, undesirable and stuck in the past, becoming a grumpy ‘old’ person?  Does youth really believe that the older generations should just be stuck in the  metaphorical rocking chair because they have nothing to add or contribute to society?

I call bullshit. Grumpy old people used to be grumpy young people. Aging doesn’t turn a cheerful person into a grouch. Scientists used to think that we lose a significant number of our brain cells as we age, but more sophisticated scans have debunked that theory. We now know that we hit our cognitive peak between the ages of 40 and 68. Through the years, our brains build up connections and recognize patterns—meaning we’re better problem-solvers and can more quickly get the gist of an argument.

agingCalifornia researchers reported in 2012 that despite any physical and mental challenges, people feel better as they age, not worse. Furthermore physical and mental challenges attack all ages not just the middle-aged or elderly.  And guess what? Your sex life improves! Older people know how to enjoy hot passion; they know what turns them on and aren’t afraid of saying so. Why do you think cougars are so popular?

They also know how to enjoy sex for what it is, pleasure, not an acceptance tool, trying to fit in, or a way to feel loved/wanted.

Eatha Kitt said it best “Aging has a wonderful beauty and we should have respect for that.”

If we all do our part to eliminate the stereotypes of aging, and become confident in our own skin, no matter the age, I think we can relax a lot more and just enjoy this thing called…. life!

 

 

 

 

The Third Saturday: Talking about being invisible

Dear World- It’s me- Tilly.

In one of Dean Koontz’s books, Odd Thomas, there is a character that asks “Odd” if he can see her everyday, she is worried about becoming invisible. I won’t get into the why’s in regards to the book (I will let you read it instead) but I thought….don’t we all, at times, (some of us more than others) worry about being invisible?

invisible.tillyriversThat maybe we aren’t special enough, to stand out, that we are lost in the crowd and compare ourselves to the famous, to the rich, to the beautiful to the…..sadly the list can go on and on, comparing ourselves to others seems to be common place.

Like children taking temper tantrums to be noticed and get attention, don’t we as adults also want to be noticed? Dye our hair purple, talk smack about people, go the extra mile at work, go against what we know is the best for us for another’s attention or love? We have all done things to fit in, because there is nothing worse than feeling invisible.

Some will tell lies, others will forget who they are to please another. Some will sacrifice anything in the name of ‘love.’ The very nature of careers are set up for recognition and appreciation, know one  wants to feel invisible on the job, passed over. You feel like you have to do whatever-it-takes to become #1.

Sad isn’t it? Sad that we aren’t confident in our skin. We have to get skinnier, have the best car, have the best clothes, have the best of everything or anything so we have bragging rights about our lives. What is so wrong with being ourselves? Don’t get me wrong, I am all about improving ourselves, I am a knowledge junkie, I always want to learn, want to explore and want to experiment, but I do so because it brings me personal pleasure, not so I can jump up and down and yell ‘look-at-me’.

For me personally the greatest ‘visible’ person I can be  is  the one that give as much love as I can; for love has not limits, and in order for that to happen, I first have to love myself. Tough job — loving myself; I fall, I get depressed, I want to quit sometimes. More times than I want  to admit, because I get tired and frustrated. Always and forever, I keep reminding myself, that I need to do what is right for me, and it is okay if the world doesn’t see me, all that matters is that I see myself in the mirror with pride and that my family can be proud of the person I am. Not the hundreds of thousands, but the few; the few that make a difference in my life.

I have learned that what matters in life are the simple things, the things that make me smile, and when I do this I can never be invisible.

 

The Second Saturday: Talking about the world

Dear World It’s me- Tilly

Good morning world, normally I am tucked away in my bed, blankets cocoon around me and probably snoring, drooling or both ~smiles~ this time on a Saturday morning.

Of course I don’t know if I do, snore and drool that is, but I am sure watching me sleep isn’t as romantic as it sounds. How could those green eye gooey things be romantic? ~giggles~ Instead I am wide awake, working on my third coffee and writing in my blog. The subject: “The World”

Two words that can mean different things to different people. Is the world about the region? The People? History? Most interesting stories? Or a Major Arcana card in the tarot deck? I believe there is even a cruise ship called “The World” ~smiles~for this blog posting, at this moment, for me, the world means “one”….. we are all connected.

For some I know that this idea might sound far-fetched, radical or just plain crazy; you can’t however deny that this topic is one of the greatest controversies among many of the most brilliant minds in recent history, science and religion. For example Gregg Braden (Author) wrote- “The existence of a primal web of energy that connects our bodies, the world, and everything in the universe opens the door to a powerful and mysterious possibility”

Brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor; Dr.  Stuart Hameroff M.D.; Fred Alan Wolf, Ph.D; John Hagelin, Ph.D and Charles F. Haanel to only name a handful of brilliant minds all believe we are connected and yet we seem to be very alone, very self-centered and each year are becoming a disposable society. Have we truly forgot how to connect on the most basic of levels?  Do we have no empathy?  Have we forgotten what sympathy is? Why do we feel it is a BAD thing to acknowledge another person’s emotional hardships and provide comfort and assurance?

Do we truly fear the act of kindness? Do we truly think it is okay to just dispose of relationships? Deplete our resources, strip nature of its beauty while leaving toxins in our wake? Where texting has replaced a conversation, and Facebook ‘likes’ mean more than a hug?

Have we forgotten to cry for a stranger who is in pain? Have we forgotten to smile for no reason?

Have we?

Tilly Rivers