Ladies: Fun Ways to Boot out a One-Night-Stand

© Copyright Tilly Rivers 2005, all rights reserved

It’s an equal opportunity world peeps, women can and do have one-night stands; and this is a  ‘just-for-laughs’ list on how to boot out that guy in the morning that seems a little too clingy.

{Note: for the haters, no I am not advocating one night stands, nor am I saying that you should do it- that choice belongs to the individual}

1. Ask him what his ten-year plan is for your future children…
2. Look him directly in the eye and ask him if he would like to serve you breakfast in bed….for the rest of your life.
3. Wake up with a stretch and say… “Man I had this horrible dream that I was with this guy that”… look over and exclaim, “oh sorry…”
4. Get on the phone and pretend to be looking for the justice of peace in your area…. When he looks at you strangely, cover the mouthpiece and say. “ But you said we were going to elope last night…don’t you remember?”
5. Ask him for his mother’s number so you can set a family meeting…
6. Tell him he is worthy of being introduced to your…ten…cats…
7. Ask him if he thinks the laws for stalkers are too serious….
8. Pretend to be looking for clothes in your closet and mumble that you just know your mother’s wedding dress is in here some where….
9. Roll over and ask your make believe friend Mage if she likes the man in your bed, and than have a fight why he is just the perfect one….
10. Invite him over for the weekend at your place on planet Xaina… the third planet from the tenth sun, in the second solar system….

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