Should the past stay in the past?

Dear World, it’s me- Tilly.

How many times have I heard- “the past is the past and that is where it should stay” or how about “stop dwelling on the past,” cliches and off-the-cuff comments; but what do they really mean? That we should just pretend that something didn’t happen when it did?

I’m not saying your focus should be on the person you use to be, change is good, normal and healthy but mistakes, and even traumatic events can turn out to be good for us. Personally I believe we should reflect on the past; like watching an old movie in black in white, no longer does it hold the power to hurt, but it does hold the power to teach.

Some will try and say tears are useless, that no matter how hard you cry you can’t change what happened, but is that the true purpose of crying?  Were you trying to reverse time? I don’t think so.   Crying is cathartic. It lets your inner demons free, it creates a portal of healing, and just like tears, learning from what happened in the past can create a healing future.

There is also a saying that goes something like: “If it happens once, shame on you, but if happens twice, shame on me.” Is this not a contraindication to the past is the past? Is this not saying we learn from our mistakes, and that in order to truly understand we first need to experience it?

Here is my thought for today, I truly think in order to move forward in a healthy manner we need to look closely at our past and find out if there are patterns.  Think of the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray  had to find ways to fix things that went wrong in the past, and not only did he learn to fix them, from his errors he was taught compassion and sympathy which resulted in an overall better version of himself.

More often than not, patterns are recognized  when the situation has ended, or changed {the past}. “Hindsight is 20/20” and that is okay, but if we never look at the past, how can we recognize the obstacles in order to move forward?

I would rather analyze the past, learn from my mistakes than repeat them.

 

 

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