Dear World- It’s me Tilly.
The comforting snores from my guy laying beside me in bed and the muted tones of the television as I watched a movie were the only noises in the bedroom. I couldn’t sleep, but that is nothing new for me, as I often suffer from bouts of insomnia; and then….. it happened…..
Something caught my eye directly above me and I immediately reacted…suspended from the ceiling and only a few feet above me, coming ever soooooo closer…. was a spider. A FRIGGING SPIDER!!
I am not sure what happened first, the scream or the fact that I was suddenly crawling on top of my guy- –who yelled— ‘what are you doing— get off of me’- —-
Side Note: I’m not sure if I should be offended-or-what- I mean come on, when your girl crawls on top of you in the middle of the night, I wasn’t expecting the reaction of “get off me”- to be fair I wasn’t exactly trying to be seductive, more like— panic— if he didn’t move, I swear I would have pushed him on the floor…. he he he
In a shaky voice I managed to tell him that there was a spider— the biggest spider I’ve ever seen –repelling from the ceiling to attack me. With a curse and a grumble he flicked on the light….’where?’
WHERE…was he kidding me? How could he not see the demon in attack mode? “right there” I pointed.
He moved closer to my side of the bed…”I don’t see it-where?”
SERIOUSLY… this was no time for kidding around, and I was NOT getting closer to that bed until that damn spider was DEAD! “right…there…” I said, teeth clenched…”why can I see IT in the dark, and you can’t even see it with the light on?” by this time I was close to hysterics.
Finally, my guy sees it. “There, he says it’s gone.”
“Did you kill it?”
“Yes I killed it.”
“I didn’t see you kill it.”
“I KILLED it, it’s dead.”
“Show me it’s body!”
“I want to see the corpse—- I AM NOT getting back into that bed until I know it’s dead and won’t come back in the middle of the night and attack me!”
My guy looks at me, and makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a laugh “You’re not serious?” With one look he knew I was very-very serious!
“It’s dead honey, come on, let’s go back to bed.”
With a little coaxing I went back to bed. My guy wraps his arms around me and after a few seconds I feel his chest rumbling with laughter; “attack of the killer spider hmm? It was so small I could barely see it.”
“It was a taranchula sent from hell to eat me.”
We both laughed, and I fell asleep in my guys arms. My hero….. the slayer of spiders!