Attack of the killer spider!

Dear World- It’s me Tilly.

The comforting snores from my guy laying beside me in bed and the muted tones of the television as I watched a movie were the only noises in the bedroom. I couldn’t sleep, but that is nothing new for me, as I often suffer from bouts of insomnia; and then….. it happened…..

Something caught my eye directly above me and I immediately reacted…suspended from the ceiling and only a few feet above me, coming ever soooooo closer…. was a spider.  A FRIGGING SPIDER!! 

I am not sure what happened first, the scream or the fact that I was suddenly crawling on top of my guy- –who yelled— ‘what are you doing— get off of me’- —-

Side Note: I’m not sure if I should be offended-or-what- I mean come on, when your girl crawls on top of you in the middle of the night, I wasn’t expecting the reaction of “get off me”- to be fair I wasn’t exactly trying to be seductive, more like— panic— if he didn’t move, I swear I would have pushed him on the floor…. he he he

In a shaky voice I managed to tell him that there was a spider— the biggest spider I’ve ever seen –repelling from the ceiling to attack me. With a curse and a grumble he flicked on the light….’where?’

WHERE…was he kidding me? How could he not see the demon in attack mode?  “right there” I pointed.

He moved closer to my side of the bed…”I don’t see it-where?”

SERIOUSLY… this was no time for kidding around, and I was NOT getting closer to that bed until that damn spider was DEAD! “right…there…” I said, teeth clenched…”why can I see IT in the dark, and you can’t even see it with the light on?” by this time I was close to hysterics.

Finally, my guy sees it. “There, he says it’s gone.”

“Did you kill it?”

“Yes I killed it.”

“I didn’t see you kill it.”

“I KILLED it, it’s dead.”

“Show me it’s body!”


“I want to see the corpse—- I AM NOT getting back into that bed until I know it’s dead and won’t come back in the middle of the night and attack me!”

My guy looks at me, and makes a noise somewhere between a groan and  a laugh “You’re not serious?”  With one look he knew I was very-very serious!

“It’s dead honey, come on, let’s go back to bed.”

With a little coaxing I went back to bed. My guy wraps his arms around me and after a few seconds I feel his chest rumbling with laughter; “attack of the killer spider hmm? It was so small I could barely see it.”

“It was a taranchula sent from hell to eat me.”

We both laughed, and I fell asleep in my guys arms. My hero….. the slayer of spiders!





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