Dear World- It’s me- Tilly.
In one of Dean Koontz’s books, Odd Thomas, there is a character that asks “Odd” if he can see her everyday, she is worried about becoming invisible. I won’t get into the why’s in regards to the book (I will let you read it instead) but I thought….don’t we all, at times, (some of us more than others) worry about being invisible?
That maybe we aren’t special enough, to stand out, that we are lost in the crowd and compare ourselves to the famous, to the rich, to the beautiful to the…..sadly the list can go on and on, comparing ourselves to others seems to be common place.
Like children taking temper tantrums to be noticed and get attention, don’t we as adults also want to be noticed? Dye our hair purple, talk smack about people, go the extra mile at work, go against what we know is the best for us for another’s attention or love? We have all done things to fit in, because there is nothing worse than feeling invisible.
Some will tell lies, others will forget who they are to please another. Some will sacrifice anything in the name of ‘love.’ The very nature of careers are set up for recognition and appreciation, know one wants to feel invisible on the job, passed over. You feel like you have to do whatever-it-takes to become #1.
Sad isn’t it? Sad that we aren’t confident in our skin. We have to get skinnier, have the best car, have the best clothes, have the best of everything or anything so we have bragging rights about our lives. What is so wrong with being ourselves? Don’t get me wrong, I am all about improving ourselves, I am a knowledge junkie, I always want to learn, want to explore and want to experiment, but I do so because it brings me personal pleasure, not so I can jump up and down and yell ‘look-at-me’.
For me personally the greatest ‘visible’ person I can be is the one that give as much love as I can; for love has not limits, and in order for that to happen, I first have to love myself. Tough job — loving myself; I fall, I get depressed, I want to quit sometimes. More times than I want to admit, because I get tired and frustrated. Always and forever, I keep reminding myself, that I need to do what is right for me, and it is okay if the world doesn’t see me, all that matters is that I see myself in the mirror with pride and that my family can be proud of the person I am. Not the hundreds of thousands, but the few; the few that make a difference in my life.
I have learned that what matters in life are the simple things, the things that make me smile, and when I do this I can never be invisible.