I am missing my family today. Seems like forever since I have seen some of them- funny how that happens, how “life’ seems to get the way of what is really important.
You would think I would know better, both of my parents are gone, and yet each day you get caught up in the everyday shit that seems so important at the time, and yet…it’s not. Not really.
No matter how close you THINK you are, so many priorities seem to come before loved ones. Survival- work- day to day bullshit. No ones fault, and yet all of our fault.
You tell yourself it is a two way street, that they can make an effort to be part of your life, you tell yourself that they will understand, and that they have to know that you love them. I call Bullshit.
I am guilty- guilty without any chance of parole- always busy- always…something….
I made a promise to my parents, a promise that I ashamed to say I have not kept. I don’t keep in touch, I don”t keep the family unit as one.
What I ask myself is a matter with me? With you? With all of us? Stop fucking around, I may not be here tomorrow, or you…and yet we continue on the same path knowing that time stands still for know one. One minute your children are babies, the next grown, one minute you are having Thanksgiving dinner with your family, the next….
I would like to say I pledge that I will be better, I would like to think that you will be better- and yet I know, because I know that this isn’t true.
How sad. Sad for me, sad for you, that we as a whole are so tied up in the everyday that we forget.
And in the end what we can deal with is the regret, regret we didn’t spend a little bit more time, regret we couldn’t say what was on our heart- regret—-