Dirty Little Habits

~Tilly Rivers~

We all have them, little habits that others may judge, or tsk-tsk at. Hell my dirty little part-time habit even my eldest sister says, “Tilly, what is that in your hand? Put that out!”

Dirty Little Habits. Tilly Rivers

Yes you guessed it my habit is smoking cigarillos. I prefer the flavoured kind and usually get “Prime Time,” they come in many flavours. Vanilla is one of my favourites.

I don’t have all of the habits of a typical smoker, for example I can go weeks at a time without one, I don’t get up in the morning and have one, nor do I have-to-have one after I eat, or sex ~smiles~

Normally I don’t have one all day long, and limit them to a few in the evenings. I do however smoke lots on most weekends, and definitely have the habit of smoking more when I am drinking. So there you have it, one of dirty little habits. ~smiles~ who cares? ~giggles~ you probably don’t, but I thought I’d share a funny little story, it went something like this….

I had decided to take another one of my ‘pauses’ and it had been about two(2) weeks since I had a cigarillo, last Friday I had a hectic day, you know the kind when nothing was going right, and thought I could sure go for a smoke. Here’s the thing… where I live none of the stores that sell cigarettes carry Prime Time…a personal pet peeve…but I was determined, I would walk the entire city if I needed to, a few blocks later and many stores… finally I found a store that had some…singles only, no packages. Fine, singles it is; even if you pay triple the price! Grrr….

Finally I had the little treasure in my hand. I was walking back, checked my bag…no lighter. NO FRIGGIN LIGHTER…okay I tell myself, no biggie, just go buy a lighter. Next store…lighter in hand.  At this point I am getting agitated, I WANTED a smoke damn it! I’m not sure what kind of karma was coming back at me that day, but it was a fight to get a damn smoke! ~smiles~

Lighter, in hand, smoke in hand, all is good right? Have you ever tried to open one of those damn single wrapped Prime Time cigars? They have plastic wrap on plastic wrap, on top of a plastic tube. Can’t be that hard I say to myself, there has to be a ‘tab’ or something you pull to get off the friggin plastic. WRONG…or at least this one didn’t. But you know what? I was determined, and I would WIN! ~smiles~ Taking the plastic devil in my mouth, I used my teeth and ripped the offensive plastic monster off the cigar.

Now…finally, I have the cigar, I have the lighter. Holy shit, I wanted a smoke before I started this adventure, now I was on edge, but I was finally…finally close to my goal! Smoke in mouth, flick the lighter…nothing…NOTHING, the damn lighter didn’t work! At this point I think I groaned. I am sure the people sharing the sidewalk thought I was crazy as they moved slightly away when I made the combo growl/moaning noise of frustration. I thought of asking for a light, surely someone had a lighter that worked, but thought better of it, after all I was making odd noises and after the person in USA eating the face of another, the world was already on red-alert for freaks! ~smiles~

Taking the lighter I just bought I shook the hell out of it, thinking maybe the fluid needed to touch the flint or something, so as I’m shaking the hell out of it I notice the little safety thingy on the side. SEROIUSLY??!!

Okay, safety thingy off, smoke in mouth…flick…a flame! Yes!

Whoosh…gush of wind….I kid you not! Hot as blazes outside, no wind, not a breeze…and along comes a whoosh of wind and blows out my lighter! Rolling my eyes I say to the wind…okay look, maybe the message is that I shouldn’t be smoking…maybe it is, or maybe it’s just a whole lot of things going wrong today– a day that was already shit— but I’m having this smoke damn it, so knock it off!

Yes, I said it out loud like a crazy person. ~smiles~ At this point though there weren’t many people on the sidewalk and besides people would have just thought I was talking into the Bluetooth…right? ~smiles~


Looking back it is pretty damn funny, just another example of; “Where there is a will- there is a way!”

Oh, and later on that night, I made sure I stocked up! ~giggles~

Much love,


Dirty Little Habits. Tilly Rivers

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